Managing Rage and Overwhelm as a Mom

Juggling the demands of family, work, and personal life can leave us feeling drained, stressed, and at times, full of rage. When these feelings start to build, it’s important to catch them early.

Be kind to yourself. The pressure to be “perfect” can be overwhelming, but self-compassion is crucial. It’s okay if you're not managing everything flawlessly. You don’t have to do it all, and you’re not alone in this.

Immediate Coping Skills for Rage:

1. Pause and Breathe
   Take a few deep breaths to interrupt the rage response. Try breathing in for 4 counts, holding for 4, and exhaling for 4. This helps activate your parasympathetic nervous system, calming you down. It also helps you to not call your husband a moron because, if you are taking a deep breath, you likely won’t be able to simultaneously say things that aren’t super productive.

2. Take a Time-Out
   Physically remove yourself from the situation. Whether it’s stepping into another room or going outside for a moment, a quick break helps you regain control over your emotions before reacting.

3. Progressive Muscle Relaxation
   Tense and then release different muscle groups (starting with your toes and working up to your head) to release built-up tension. This helps soothe the physical symptoms of rage.

Soothing Skills in the Moment:

1. Soothing Self-Talk
   Remind yourself that it's okay to feel angry, but you don’t need to act on that anger. Self-Compassion self talk in the moment would sound like, “Whew, my husband is really annoying me right now.” (Instead of telling him to kick rocks the moment he asks you what time your kids baseball game is for the 4th time today.)

2. Use Cold or Warmth
   Sometimes physical sensations can help reset your emotional state. Try holding something cold, like an ice cube in your palm or rubbing the ice on the inside of your wrist. The contrast can shift your focus and calm your body. If you feeling rage and overwhelm while getting ready, turn the shower water from hot to lukewarm back and forth. For example, wash your hair in lukewarm water then rinse your body with hot water.

3. Listen to Soothing Music or Sounds
   Put on calming music or listen to nature sounds. Or Nicki Minaj. That works too. Music has the power to shift your emotional state and bring you a sense of peace.

These strategies can help you regain composure and reduce the intensity of rage in the moment. Practice these skills regularly so that they become easier to access when you need them most!

Contact us. Make an appointment. We can help support you during this stressful time. Email erinmrandol@yahoo.com or click here to schedule an appointment.